A while back, I was part of a really lovely series called “Compassionate Conversations” at Integrate Trauma Informed Network. We discussed tools to help us move through grief via the lens of the nervous system and using mind/body tools and techniques to support us in grief. Because of my Reiki practice and my book, The Chakras in Grief & Trauma, I was asked to talk about energy work and grief.
One of the questions I was asked was how energy work has impacted my own grief journey. In the early days and years of my own grief, I had not done reiki training, I had not written any of my books—which truly are the books I wish I had had then—and I did not see any energy work practitioners. I realized though, that I had been doing my own energy work. I spent a lot of time on the floor and on the ground. Often sobbing my heart out, wailing and crying, but sometimes just because it was the only thing I knew for sure would hold me up. This was one of the most significant energy shifting thing that I did on a regular basis. Sometimes on purpose and sometimes spontaneously.
Trusting the ground to hold us is a profound energy practice. It is literal grounding. Even when I started out on a piece of furniture, I would often end up sliding to the ground in my grief and surrender to the pain, to the struggle of trying to keep myself upright when I did not have the ability. The ground held me. The Earth held me. And I felt the tiniest bit more stable and grounded.
Being grounded—literally being on the ground helps us to be in touch with our bodies. We are often in a dissociated state in traumatic grief—somewhere trying to figure out where our beloveds are, in the liminal space of grief, partially in this world and partially not. We might bein a state of shock, completely outside our own bodies. Being grounded helps us to be more present and feel more stable. It can help with feelings of fear, anxiety and overwhelm, helping to regulate our nervous system, which can be over active or underactive in grief and trauma. Grounding practices can help us feel our breath in our body helping us remember to breathe. If we can be outdoors and on the ground we also get the added bonus of the support from nature all around us—trees, sky, fresh air, a breeze on our skin and sunshine. These things may seem small, but they can provide so much nurturing for the grieving heart, mind and body.
Some easy grounding techniques:
Put your bare feet on the ground or the floor—if you can actually touch the earth, this feels very connecting. Notice how your feet feel. Wiggle your toes. Shift your weight from the heels to the balls of the feet. Imagine your feet grow roots and send them into the earth. Allow your roots to descend further and further into the ground with each exhalation. See them reaching all the way to the molten core of the planet. Breathing in, imagine pulling up the stabilizing, secure energy of Mother Earth into your feet, legs, hips, up the spine and to the top of your head.
Lie down on the floor or the ground—use a blanket if you want—notice how the earth feels as you are held up.
Spend time in nature. Go for a walkoutside. Sit with your back against a tree trunk. Smell some flowers. Feel theair on your skin and the sun on your face. Watch the birds. Notice how many shadesof green you see.
Hold a stone or crystal. Feel the texture, notice the color, the weight, notice any patterns, how it is formed.
Rub your palms briskly together and once they are warm, cross your arms and begin to pat your self on the arms up and down from shoulders to hands and back again. Pat your thighs and hamstrings, your shins and calves up and down. Wiggle and shake your whole body.